The Cat and the HedgeHog
by journeyintoMystery
Summary: When paid an unexpected visit from Loki, Sherlock does his thing and pisses of the god of mishief. Being turned into a cat John a hedgehog and becoming the Avengers pet can't possibly be that bad, can it?
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer:**__ Don't own Marvel or Sherlock…_

_**Warning:**__ Suggested recreational drug use, and coarse language_

**Look What the Cat Dragged in**

Teleporting. Such draining business indeed. Loki looked around the rather confined place. Interesting. Stairs, a single set leading up and another leading down. Deciding to go with the one upstairs, since there was a door visible, he headed up. Stopping in front of it, he hesitates. He should hide. Lay low for a while, so that his brother wouldn't find him and send him back to his magic-draining cell again. He didn't think he could escape that place twice.

Finally, he knocked and waited. A man with light brown hair answered the door, clad in a striped sweater and jeans. "Uh, hello. Can I help you with anything?" He asked, confused. "I doubt _you_ can help." Loki scoffed. Rolling his eyes slightly, the man leaned back from the doorway. "Sherlock, I think someone wants to see you!" He yelled. "I'm John, by the way." The stranger at the door said kindly. "Loki. Loki Laufyson." He replied. He must've landed somewhere in London, judging by the short mans accent.

A taller man with curly dark hair, high cheekbones, and visibly pale skin. With a barely a glance his way, the strange tall man turned to the shorter one. "I don't know him, and he's not a client." The man with the striped sweater gave him a look. "I'm sorry, but have we met before?" John asked. "No, I don't believe we have." Loki said disdainfully. "Are you looking for Mrs. Hudson?" The tall man asked. "No." Loki snapped. They were wearing his patience.

"Oh, you must be cold, come in come in. This is Sherlock, though you probably already know that." John replied, opening the door wider and stepping aside. With cold, calculating eyes, the male named Sherlock stared at him, and Loki did the same.

Sitting down on the couch, Loki waited. "So, ah, your accent's different. Maybe from… America?" John asked, trying to make small talk. Before Loki could call him an eejit for it, Sherlock interrupted. "He's not from here. And, as a response to your remark from earlier, no he isn't cold simply because he wasn't outside. Odd man indeed. Not to mention he seems to think very highly of himself, seeing as he was about to call you an eejit." Sherlock said, a small flame of interest in his eyes.

"Eejit…?" John asked confused. "Irish offensive term, conceived from the word idiot since they sound very much alike. Now, what is it you want from us?" Sherlock asked, waving off John who looked at least the bit offensive. He had seemed used to be calling stupid, and idiot, and man who just 'doesn't think' quite often. "I don't want anything you have to offer, mortal—" Loki snapped.

"Oh, what is this? He calls us mortal John, can you believe it! What is it you do that makes you so different from us 'mortals?' No, wait, let me see if I can get it." He responded when Loki was about to reply with a snarl. "Demi-god… by the way you hold yourself I'd say you were someone important in a royal family. Not from here either. Your very far away from home, Loki, aren't you?" Sherlock asked, shaking his head. "He's a killer, Sherlock, we have a killer in our home and your just preparing tea?" John hissed.

Sherlock frowned slightly. "Killer? He's a Norse god, the god of mischief. I highly doubt he could be a serial killer." Sherlock replied. "Genocide. He was guilty for wanting to kill us all. You're lucky I read the papers." John snapped softly, keeping a wary eye on their guest. "Damn." Loki muttered. He'd been found out, oh well, he could just kill the petty mortals and be done with it, though the one with curly hair rather intrigued him.

"Wait, did you say Norse god?" John asked after a single beat of silence. "Yes, Norse god. Laufy's son if I remember correctly. Rather fond of magic too, though it's considered a woman's trait rather than a mans." Sherlock said curtly. "How dare you insult me you petty fool." Loki said, his voice low and dangerous. "You just said magic… are you still on heroin, because I swear to God that I'll get Lestrade to haul you back to the pen." John threatened. The tall one just rolled his eyes.

"Remember the Winchesters?" Sherlock asked, while Loki looked just about ready to murder them all for forgetting him. "Yes, but you explained to me as slow and 'dumb' as you could, telling me that it wasn't really magic after the case." John said with a small nod. "Well, if there's such things as demons and angels, what makes it so hard to believe in Norse demigods?" Sherlock asked staring at his friend as if it was the simplest thing ever. John simply stared at him, mouth agape. "Ugh, everyone's so stupid. Even you, Loki, though considered to the rest of these sheep your only a tad bit smarter." Sherlock said. Loki stood up, enraged.

"I will not take this, I am a god—"

"Demi-god, my dear." Sherlock said with fake enthusiasm. "I could smite you. But then again, you wouldn't get to suffer." Loki snarled. He glanced at John, who slightly flinched at the intense stare. "Now, what would happen if I did something to your companion?" Loki wondered, going over to were John sat in his desk chair. "I've heard worse." Sherlock retorted. Loki snapped his head to him and smiled sinisterly. "And what about your smarts? What would happen then?" Loki asked, his voice sweet enough to kill you. "Your drained of magic, even I can see that." Sherlock said.

"A simple transfiguration spell would do." Loki mumbled. With a flick of his wrist, the demi-god was now the only human in the room. Loki smiled triumphantly down at a shocked black cat, with eyes that seemed much like the consulting detectives. It took a second, but the cat looked up at him with anger before going off to some other part of the room. Sitting in a chair, was a small little hedge hog. The cat climbed onto the chair and poked the hedge hog with its nose. Turning it's gaze, the cat glared at Loki.

"You had it coming." Loki told the cat. "How about this? To make it more… bearable, I could do a simple comprehension spell so you could talk to your lover?" The cat glared at him, but visibly perked up. Loki smiled, and muttered a simple sentence in his language. "Of course, the time of talking is restricted so that you may speak only for two hours. Twelve and one AM." Loki said. "Now, we can't have you someplace familiar to you." Loki added at the hissing cat. The demi god grabbed the cat by the scruff and the hedgehog was cupped in his hand before they simply displayed with a green spark.

. . . . .

_**A/N:**__ Hope ya'll liked. Like usual, I'll update again today, hopefully. This is meant to be a short story, so expect it to end at chapter five or around there._


	2. Welcome Home

_**Disclaimer:**__ Same as chapter 1___

_**Warning: **__Minor cussing *Clint and Tony*_

**Welcome Home**

The team all filed through the door of the tower, chatting or joking about something. Bruce, the one who always tagged behind, noticed something at the corner of his eye. A black cat, a gash going across his cheek, and a hedgehog, and strangely enough, it looked as though it was inspecting the resting cat.

"Hey guys, come look at this." Bruce said, calling the rest of the team. They all gather quickly. "Is there something wrong?" Clint asked. "No, but look." Banner replied, gesturing towards the animals. "Aw, he looks adorable." Natasha commented. "Oh, so now you're a crazy cat lady—" Clint began, but stopped once Natasha wacked him upside the head.

"What'd you do that for?!" Clint yelled.

"I don't need an excuse to hit you Clint." She quipped. "I hear when people make make fun of you, it means they like you." Tony replied. "That applies for little _girls_, and it's actually why woman date jerks like Stark over here." Natasha replied, rolling her eyes. "I am not a jerk!" Tony butted in, not looking in the least hurt by the jab. "Guys…" Bruce said, drawing their attention back at the display in front of them.

"The cat looks like shit." Clint said, ducking as the feminine hand came aiming for his head yet again. "We should take it in." Steve said, looking rather concerned. "Do what you guys want _I'm_ taking a nap." Tony said, yawning. "We just came back from a mission, and the first thing you do is take a nap!" Steve said with a frown. "Don't worry, we'll have plenty of time to do… _that_ when I wake up." Tony replied, patting his back and making him blush.

A small mew from the black cat below caught their attention. It was silent while the hedgehog slowly edged closer to Natasha. Smiling she grabbed it tentatively, and suddenly the black cat hissed. "Over protective about it's dinner?" Steve offered with a small shrug. "You guys better grab him before he decides to jump me." Natasha said, eyeing the cat as it whined loudly, crawling it's way to her only to swap at her feet. "I think it needs help." Steve piped up.

"Yeah, no shit Sherlock." Tony said, rolling his eyes. The minute the words slipped out his mouth, the cat shut up and looked at the philanthropist expectantly. "What do you want?" Tony asked, staring disdainfully at the cat. The cat let out a meow, long and drawled. His tail flicked once. "_What?_" Tony asked again.

"Maybe you upset it by cursing." Steve replied. Both Tony and the cat rolled their eyes simultaneously. "Or…" Bruce trailed off. "Sherlock?" Bruce called, and almost immediately the cat whipped his head towards the scientist.

"Sherlock? I don't want to name him Sherlock! Call him something like Mr. Vanilla Milkshake!" Clint said, earning a questioning glare from Natasha.

"What about the hedgehog?" Natasha asked, cooing while the little brown creature bobbed it's head. "Let's call him Johnny!" Thor said excitedly. "No. No, no, no, and no. We are _not_ calling him after that flame head." Tony responded immediately. "Oh come on! That's not fair!" Thor said with a frown. "It is. He's a stuck up jerk who's basically handed anything he asks for." Tony said.

Natasha laughed, causing the animal in her arms to snuggle up closer to her.

"What?"

"You just described yourself Tony, you know that?" She asked with a giggle. "Difference between me and Johnny is the fact that I don't like to be handed things." Tony shot back, smiling all the while.

"Can we call him John then? Since we _did_ find both of them together, and we called the cat Sherlock, we should name him John." Bruce mused. "Fine idea my friend!" Thor said, slapping Banners back and almost making him fall forward.

They headed inside to marvel at the cat and the hedgehog. John, who Natasha was yet to leave alone, was more calm and quiet. Sherlock on the other hand barely ate or slept, exploring the house once they patched his wound up.

X

Sherlock, who had gotten just a bit familiar with being a cat, roamed the halls until he came upon a stairwell going down to what was supposed to be a basement. When he slinked down, he saw glass wall showing a laboratory. This got his attention.

Living with superhero's might have its upsides after all. After only a few seconds of wondering how it worked, Sherlock figured it out. Tony Stark, the rich man who called himself a genius, walked down the stairs.

"What's up kitty?" He asked as Sherlock scoffed at the name. _That's not my name you eejit. _Sherlock thought darkly. He memorized the code that Tony punched in, and walked in before him. "Impatient now, aren't we?" Tony said to the him.

Ignoring the comment, Sherlock walked around the room and inspected anything he could. Any object that looked foreign, he would walk around, trying to deduce what it was used for. Getting bored with the game, Sherlock went to go see what Stark was doing.

He was working on something blue that glowed, but from the floor, Sherlock couldn't see. Climbing a seat, he sat down on a stool right next to the man and watched. The thing was circular, a strange little machine that might have been bigger than his palm if he was still human.

The invention enthralled Sherlock, so he watched his 'master' work on it in fascination. _What is it? _Sherlock asked, which of course came out in a couple mews and purrs. Tony glanced at the cat and smiled. "You're probably bored. Come here." Tony said, grabbing the cat.

Almost at once Sherlock began to protest, trying to get out of his grip. If Lestrade saw him being man handled, boy would he have a field day. "It's okay, calm down." Tony told him as Sherlock hissed at him to let him go. Finally, Sherlock having enough as it is, scratched Tony. Spewing out a stream of curses, Tony let go of the cat and tenderly touched the scratch on his cheek.

"I was only trying to comfort you, Christ." Tony spat, looking ready to kick the cat. _I don't need comfort _Sherlock thought, flicking his tail and running off into a dark unlit corner.

X

Life as a hedgehog was bearable. The red head woman, which John came to know as Natasha, kept a constant eye on him. He rather liked the attention, and got rather close to her. "Aw, look at him Clint, he's rolling over now!" Natasha cooed. "Uh huh, fascinating." Clint said, not looking up from his _Archers_ catalogue.

"Oh come on, you didn't even look at him." Natasha whined. The agent looked over his magazine for second before nodding and staring back at the picture. "There." He said. "Fine. You can sleep on the couch while Mr. John sleeps in the bed with me." Natasha replied. "Nat, please, I didn't—" Clint began. "I don't think there's enough space for all three of us, right John?" Natasha asked the small hedgehog. John nodded. "See? He agrees!" Natasha said, running out the room with John in her arms before Clint could say anything.

Clint, staring after Natasha's fleeing form, saw the cat run after her, hissing.

X

_He's mine! _Sherlock tried to say, coming out as a series of hissing. _John, don't worry, I'll get you!_

Looking around for something useful, Sherlock riffled through a chest only to find himself tangled up in rich fabrics. Mewing loudly and struggling to get out, the chest closed, entrapping Sherlock. _Uh oh…_

Now, trying to untangle himself in the dark, he began to panic slightly. Suddenly, the chest opened. Looking up at the blinding light, Sherlock found himself looking at a giant with blond shoulder length beach hair. "You are the one named Sherlock, are you not?" Thor asked. _Yes, of course, who else could I be_? Sherlock mewed. "Do you need help, Sher of Lock?" Thor asked. _Isn't it obvious? _Sherlock scoffed, which came out as a sneeze sound in his cat form. "Bless be. Here" Thor began to carry a very reluctant Sherlock, but stopped when he noticed the cat was tangled in the fabrics.

Tugging harder, Thor tried to free the cat, but only caused it to hiss in annoyance. Sherlock coughed as one of the silk scarves caught around his furry neck. He began to spit, scratch, and move in the demi-gods grip. _Let go!_

"Hmm… this is a strange puzzle of sorts." Thor said with a frown. "It's not a puzzle Thor." Tony walked in, rolling his eyes. "You fix it, Stark." The blonde god said, throwing Sherlock back into the chest. "Careful! Dude, you can't just throw a cat around like that, especially not one as temperamental as this one." Tony said, running to the cat's aid.

"You have to be gentle with the devil, see?" Tony unraveled the scarves, helping Sherlock shed the tangles of clothes. "I see. Can I hold the cat?" Thor asked, eyes brightening like a little child's. "Sure… be gentle though." Tony said, handing the obedient Sherlock to Thor. The cat started to fidget when he was handed over. "He does not seem to take a liking in me." Thor said, frowning slightly. "Maybe he isn't used to you yet." Tony suggested as Sherlock began to complain.

"Are you sure?!" Thor said over the sounds the cat was making. "He's pretty loud, look, hand him over." Tony demanded. Thor did as he was told and almost as soon as Sherlock was in Tony's arms, he quieted down. Scratching him behind the ear, Tony said "I think he likes me." while Sherlock purred.

. . . . . . .

_**A/N: **__I'm really sorry it took so long to update… but I'm going to get the internet back on Friday and the follows on this story is overwhelming! Thank you everyone! Also, tumblr names .com!_


	3. Deals and Cat Nip

_**Disclaimer**__: Not mine_

* * *

**Hygiene and Midnight Stalking**

"Please Natasha, open the door, I'm tired." Clint said, leaning against the closed entry way. "John, what do you think? Should I let him in?" Natasha's voice drifted from the little slit under the door. "John says not to let you in!" She yelled. "He's a _rodent_ Nat!" Clint said, starting to get frustrated. Suddenly, the door opened a slit, leaving him hopeful until he saw the hedgehog nudge a folded piece of paper out into the hallway before the thing went back in and somehow closed the door by itself.

"What the…?" Bending down and grabbing the paper, Clint opened it. _Go to sleep on the couch._ It said in fancy handwriting. "Fine, I'll just sleep in a spare bedroom. To hell with sleeping on a couch." Clint yelled, throwing his hands up in frustration. He stomped away.

Sherlock stared at the man run away from his quarters. Time for the plan. After listening to Bruce and Tony (he was on first name basis with both of them already) talk about science things, he had run away in order to talk to John.

He tried scratching on the door, but no one came to it. He tried knocking with his paw, to no avail. '_John!_' He tried to yell out. It came out more as a strange noise that sounded oddly… dinosaur-ish. Finally he decided to ram his head on the door out of frustration.

When he noticed it made a lot more sound than any of the other things he had done lately, he repeatedly hit his head on the door. Finally, the red headed woman opened the door to find the cat rolling around the ground, complaining while trying to touch it's forehead.

"Aw, do you need help?" She asked. '_I need John._' Sherlock replied. More mewing sounds on Sherlock's behalf. John appeared between the woman's legs, making a strange squeaking noise. "Alright. Maybe you should take a bath. Cats around New York usually rummage through trash and eat rats and things." Natasha rationalized. She nodded to herself, grabbing Sherlock. Sherlock struggled, trying to get her to let go.

"Maybe I should get you catnip? To calm you down." She said, practically throwing Sherlock on the bed and rummaging through one of the drawers. She came back with a small, grayish lump that immediately made him perk up. The smell emitting from the small grey thing was euphoric. Natasha chuckled while she stretched her hand out, giving Sherlock the catnip.

John stared at Sherlock, head tilting to one side as he observed him swatting at the air. '_Sherlock? Are you alright?_' He tried to ask. Sherlock turned his attention to the little squealing ball of pines. "Uh oh." Natasha said. She got ready to take the cat away, in case he tried to pounce on John.

When the cat lunged at John, he simply squealed and braced himself. It took a second for John to realize that, no, Sherlock was not killing him, and yes, this was very uncomfortable. Uncomfortable because Sherlock was cradling him to his chest, mewing loudly and happily.

Making a squeaking sound, John turned to Natasha for helped, but she was too busy laughing.

X

Location: 221B Baker Street

Home of: Sherlock Holmes and his companion John Hamish Watson

Current people inside: Unknown

Loading… Loading…

Orders: Shoot subject if out of control

X

Loki felt a weird presence as he woke up from the couch that morning. It felt as if someone were staring at him coldly. He knew the feeling well enough. When the Norse god rubbed his eyes open, did he finally notice the figure sitting across from him.

"Jim Moriarty. Hi." The man greeted him with a far smile. "What are you doing in my home?" Loki asked. "The question, my dear, is what did you do with Sherlock Holmes." Moriarty corrected. "Hope you don't mind." He added, gesturing towards the tea displayed on the coffee table. "What are you doing here?" Loki asked again.

"I don't think you're in the position to ask questions." Moriarty replied with a malicious smile as a red dot appeared on the god's chest. "A red dot. Is that supposed to frighten me, because let me just say you're doing a horrible job." Loki said coolly. "Oh I almost forgot you were an _alien._ If you react violently I have people who can at least slow you down. Painfully." Moriarty responded with a light chuckle.

"And who are you to threaten a god in their home?" Loki asked. "A man once described me as a spider. Of course later on he had to kill himself but oh well. We both really are good actors." Moriarty said with a smile. "I want to know what you did to Sherlock Holmes." He demanded. "So the tall man has a mistress? How scandalous." Loki replied.

"Tell me what you did to the detective, and if you don't then I'll hang you in my trophy room. I don't think I've gotten a Norse god yet." Jim threatened. "Your becoming a pest. I don't like pests." Loki hissed, his hand twitching. In the place of Jim Moriarty, criminal master mind, sat a large hairy spider. "I think it suits you."

X

Time: Midnight

Location: Avengers Tower

"Sherlock?" John asked, poking the sleeping cat on the stomach. There was a groan before the bluish grey eyes opened. "What? What is it now John?" He asked. "Well, it's midnight. The man said we could talk during midnight." John reminded him. The black cat shot up. "Right. Now let's discuss our _owners._" Sherlock spat out the title as if it were dirty.

"Sherlock now is not the time to show off—" John began.

"The red head is Russian. I was snooping earlier and found a S.H.I.E.L.D nametag, so she's in some sort of military program. She's not an assistant but a spy, considering how fast she swatted me away when I tried to jump on her. The man she's with, Clint they called him, is also from the military. Both are on the same unit, maybe even partners considering how well they communicate. He's an archer, you can tell by the red marks on his arm and his fingers."

"The other brunette, the scientist, is humble to say the least. He's very cautious when he's under a stressful habitat. He's probably hiding something. He refers to someone as 'the other guy.' Maybe it's a friend, or enemy, but it's most likely his alter ego. Can you imagine it John? Naming one's alter ego, how very… quaint." Sherlock said with a chuckle. "I don't want to talk to you tomorrow and find out you named your ego after Moriarty or something." John interrupted. For a second Sherlock looked affronted before shrugging.

"Billionaire is a rather annoying at time but… he's bearable." Sherlock said. John did a double check to make sure he was awake by hitting Sherlock. "Hey!" He yelled. "Did you make a friend?" John asked. "No… we're more of a master servant type of relationship." This made John gag. "Me being the master of course." Sherlock added.

"Let's see who's left…?" Sherlock asked. "Giant Norse god maybe?" John asked, giving Sherlock _The look_ which meant he better be nice. "Well, considering how he's so sure of himself all the time demanding poptarts, he's royal blood and he seems to have some emotional problems with—" Sherlock began.

"What. The. Hell." Both animals turned to see Clint the archer staring down at both of them with wide eyes. "Hello, would you like a cup of tea?" Sherlock asked. John opened his mouth but closed it as he turned to stare at Sherlock. "Was that sarcasm?" John asked. "I think you could verify it as sarcasm." Sherlock replied. "Th-the animals are t-talking…" Clint sputtered.

* * *

SDFGHJKL; I AM SO SORRY I fixed it! Totally fixed now! Only one Moriarty and Loki again hahaha *blushing madly*


	4. 221B Stark Tower

**221B Stark Tower**

"_With the resent attack on the human race here at New York, it makes the world wonder, exactly just how defenseless are we against the rest of the universe?"_ The television droned on and on until Sherlock pounced on the control with a hiss.

"Hey! I was watching that!" Tony complained, stroking the cats back absentmindedly. Sherlock slouched before nudging the control towards the philanthropist. Before Tony could say anything, there was a loud _crashing_ sound then a loud "Ow!"

Both owner and cat stared at the glass wall. Clint had apparently fallen down the stairs trying to get to the basement. The archer rushed to the door, barely giving himself time to recover from the fall. Clint smashed into the glass wall before screaming something along the lines of "JARVIS you British bastard let me in!"

"Of course," The AI replied politely. The door burst open. "Tony, your cat is demonic and we have to kill it!" Clint yelled.

Tony stared at him for a second before bursting out laughing. "Nice one." Stark said. Sherlock hissed at Clint. "Don't listen Sherlock. I'm sure he's just kidding." Tony reassured him. "I am not kidding! I'm serious, _Sherlock _and that demonic hog were both talking last night and then they tied me up just to drug me!" Clint yelled. "Clint, I'm sure it was just a dream." Tony replied, rolling his eyes. "I'm serious. It was them! They tied me up, then the devil cat just literally scratched me on the face while he had his paws wet with some drug that knocks you out." Clint said, pointing at a deep scratch on his face.

"Sherlock, did you scratch him while he was sleeping and dreaming of something stupid involving a cat talking to him then drugging him?" Tony asked Sherlock. The detective nodded before giving Tony the biggest eyes he could trying to look sorry. "Well… I can't stay mad you. Just don't do it again, okay?" Tony scolded softly. Sherlock nodded, perking up and hissing at Clint for a second after.

"B-But… are you crazy? He _drugged _me because I figured out their secret!" Clint spewed out. "Okay before you tell me the rest of this crazy dream, can you go outside, grab a paper? Then write 'I'm a dumb ass' and then tape it onto your forehead, alright? Okay, thanks." Tony said in a voice dripping with honey. Sherlock mewed happily.

"Fine. I'm sure Natasha will listen to me. Then I'll prove to you that your cat is a demonic little beast." Clint spat out, marching out of the lab. Clint passed Bruce on the way and simply said, "Don't go near the cat."

Bruce walked into the lab, confused. "Why was he…?" Banner asked. "I don't even know anymore." Tony said shaking his head. Sherlock purred, and he would've smiled if he could. "Hey there Locky!" Bruce said before pausing. "Locky is _not_ a good nickname." He muttered to himself, shaking his head as Sherlock nodded the best he could.

X

Loki looked like any normal movie-goer as he walked up to the counter, ordering popcorn and a soda. "Oh my god! Sir you have a spider on your shoulder!" The cashier yelled, looking as though she was about to have a heart attack. "I know. He won't shut up." Loki said with a grimace as the spider bit his ear. Loki winced before glaring at the big spider.

"If you don't quit that I'll fling you off my shoulder." He threatened. The cashier let out her breath in relief. So it wasn't a killer super-venomous spider that was here to kill her. "Have a good day sir! And you too, Mr. Spidey." The cashier said with a brilliant smile. Loki ignored her as he continued to threaten the spider. "Who was that?" Another cashier asked.

"I don't know, but that guy sure is weird." She replied with a shrug.

) X (

"_I wanted to go see a James bond movie._" Jim complained. Loki was just about ready to fling Moriarty into the nearest gushing gutter. "Look, I gave you the ability to talk to me because you agreed to help me with the team of idiots." Loki hissed. "_I get ideas by watching spy movies, alright?_" Jim hissed as Loki rubbed his red ear. "Fine." Loki relented with a sigh. The spider lifted one of its hairy legs and caressed the gods face. "_You're too good. Too soft. We'll have to change that._"

X

"We've spotted him!" Tony yelled, bursting into Thor's room. Thor was currently throwing his hammer into the top corner of the room, trying to get rid of a small little spider. "Who?" Thor asked as Sherlock hopped onto his dresser. "Loki. He's in London, at the theatre." Tony said. "Shall we… suit up?" Thor asked. "Yeah, let's go before he wrecks the place."

Thirty minutes later, the Avengers where all outside of the movie theatre, waiting. So they waited. And waited. And waited just a bit more before, "What if he's seriously just watching a movie?" Tony asked.

"It wouldn't make sense, because if he's seriously watching a movie, then he would've probably blown up the theatre by now." Clint said. "Why can't we… I don't know, just ask to go in and find him?" Tony suggested. Sherlock mewed from the lamp post. "Oh yeah I forgot to tell you all but I brought them along." Bruce said, gesturing towards his obviously just-added-to-the-motorcycle basket.

"Inside we go." Tony grumbled, attempting to reach Sherlock. Sherlock mewed again before landing on Tony's head somewhat shakily.

The team entered and walked to the cashier girl. "I-it's you! All of you! Along with a cat… and a hedgehog…" She said. "Man, what is up with everyone and bringing animals to the movie theater?" She asked under her breath. "We ask of you, have you seen a man?" Thor asked.

She stared at him, eyes wide. "Which one?" She asked. "My brother." Thor replied. "That's not very specific." She said. "We're looking for a tall man. Ebony hair and really pale, sound familiar? He may have had a green scarf." Natasha interrupted. "Oh, the man with the spider! I know him! He went to go watch that one alien movie in theatre six!" She yelled, jumping up and down.

Natasha turned to them. "An alien watching a movie about an alien. With a_ spider?_" Tony asked sounding and looking quite dubious. "Apparently." Clint said with a shrug. "Can we just leave these here? We have work to do." Tony said, grabbing John and Sherlock. He shoved them towards the poor cashier girl who stared down at them, confused. "What type of work?" She asked.

"Oh you know, saving the world from a man in a green cape, the usual." Tony replied.

X

"_Well… that was rubbish._" Moriarty said. "Why? I thought the moving pictures were decent." Loki said. "_Oh come on! You're an _alien_! The aliens in the movie were just so… savage. And daft, oh can't forget daft._" Moriarty replied. "Who cares? You're the one who nagged me into bringing you here." Loki said, walking into the large lobby. "_The movies still rubbish._" Moriarty said. "If you didn't like it, then why did you choose—" Loki began.

Suddenly Loki was flying towards the wall, hit by a mysterious object. "Ungh… again with the being thrown into a wall." Loki said, slowly letting himself fall to the floor. "So, reindeer games, nice to see you again." Tony said, lifting his faceplate. "Well if it isn't the pompous little—" Loki began. A black cat hissed at him from the cashier counter. "Oh… _oh._" Loki said as he recognized the pair of animals contained by the cashier girl.

"Well, if it isn't my favorite detective. Oh have I got a surprise for you two." He said, standing up. "Hey, if you've got a problem then—" Tony said. No longer had he said that fraction of a sentence had Loki literally just punched him in the face. No warning or trigger, and definitely no effort, and Loki had sent Tony was flying towards the other side of the room.

"_Sherlock. Nice seeing you again._" Moriarty said, revealing himself from a fold in Lokis' jacket. The black cat's jaw swung open as the hedge hog gave out a visible shiver. "_Silly me. You might not recognize me. Hi, I'm Moriarty and I believe your Sherlock Holmes._"

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**A/N: **Sorry it took so long. Had to buy a new laptop since my computer malfunctioned.


	5. So You've Deducted

**A/N:** I am truly sorry it took so long to update. And, just a little fun fact, I stayed up after twelve to write this.

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**So You'veDeducted…**

"Must I say, its getting pretty late." Loki said with a vicious smile. "Brother…" Thor said, as if trying to coax Loki out of some dark corner. "I am no brother of yours, and I'm tired of repeating myself." Loki spat. "Lets go Jim." He added, glaring at the spider. With a green spark, both the spider and demi-god where gone.

"Son of a…" Tony cursed, kicking a trashcan which accidently broke the popcorn maker. "Sorry!" Tony yelled out. "We have to go back. Banner, do you think you can trace Loki's magic?" Tony asked. "I can't. I have to have a sample of the initial signature before I could track it. And even if I have the sample it still might not help." Bruce said, looking slightly relieved that he didn't have to 'Hulk Out.'

Natasha glanced over at a small animal like figure walking towards her. "Tony, I think your cat did something to my hedgehog." She said, grabbing the fainted John from Sherlock. "I don't really care." Tony grumbled, grabbing Sherlock before walking outside where he proceeded to take off somewhere. "Poor scared out of its mind." Steve said, shaking his head.

-Elsewhere…-

The cat, now cradled in Tony's arms, was in fact _not_ freaking out. Tony didn't want to get too high up in case the cat started having difficulty breathing. Tony dodged the buildings, not wanting to harm the cat.

Sherlock rather enjoyed the wind going through his fur. He was involuntarily purring with pleasure. The pleasure was short lived, as was the adrenaline of course. Soon, Sherlock began to whine, getting cold. "What? Are you getting cold?" Tony teased. _No, but for once, I'm actually hungry _Sherlock said mostly to himself.

As if sensing what the cat said, Tony slowed down by a plaza. "There's this great café in London we could go to." Tony mused. Sherlock felt a small hope for amusement as he nodded. "But first, I don't want to carry you so…" The philanthropist replied, heading towards a pet store.

Stark spent an annoyingly large amount of time looking for the right cat carrier. Sherlock mewed loudly whenever Starks gaze began to drift to the woman at the cash register. He bet that if Tony talked 'sciency' to any of these women, they would be lost as he was when it came to woman in bought the carrier and shoved Sherlock in as he complained loudly.

_-In London-_

By the time they got to the café, it was raining lightly. Meanwhile Tony had talked animatedly about how he was excited for trying out one of his special suits that was invisible in any type of radar. Sherlock droned him out, making deductions about other people.

The duo sat at a booth, ready to order when Sherlock (already out of the cage) noticed someone familiar. Molly sat alone by the window, a steaming cup of tea warming her hands by the way she clutched at it. Sherlock slunk by the talkative inventor, heading her way.

Sherlock mewed loudly before pawing at her pants. She looked down, surprised. Molly's expression immediately softened when she saw the cat. _Why does _she_ look taller now? _Sherlock grumbled softly. "Hello kitty!" She greeted enthusiastically. "Are you here all by yourself?" She asked, looking around.

Tony looked like a maniac, talking alone about things normal people would have a hard time understanding. Sherlock nodded with an involuntary mew. "Oh you poor thing…" She said softly, reaching for him. Sherlock shied away from her hands but she grabbed him regardless.

_I hope Stark notices me so I can get away…_ Sherlock thought as Molly checked his neck for a collar. As if on cue, Tony looked around the room. "Sherlock!" Tony said sternly, walking towards Molly's table. Molly flinched at the name, and looked up at Tony.

"Don't run away again or I won't give you anymore scraps from the table." Tony scolded lightly. "Thank you for grabbing him. Sherlock's been a real pain in the ass lately." Stark said, grabbing the cat. "Yes… well… y-your welcome?" Molly replied. "…Your cat's name… why did you name him Sherlock?" Molly added. Tony shrugged. "I also have a hedgehog, but John's with Nat." Tony said. Molly cocked her head in confusion.

Stark stretched his arm, cupping the back of his neck. "I guess its time to leave. Call me if you ever get bored." Tony said with a wink as he slid a paper across the table towards Molly. She immediately looked too flustered to speak, let alone refuse. Sherlock hissed at Tony, silently berating him for his stupidity when it came to woman.

Of course, Sherlock should be one to talk. He was still a virgin. Sherlock hissed again, letting his mind race back to the problem at hand. "Hey kitty, calm down. I know you want to see your pet, just wait." Tony scolded. Sherlock got louder yelling _Bite me_ and having it come out as a spiteful mew.

"Anyways, I have to get going. My superhero friends are expecting me." Tony said. Molly looked even more puzzled.

X

That night, at midnight again, Sherlock grabbed John from his makeshift bed and dragged him to an open closet. The hedgehog squealed for a second before John's voice came out of the small little critter he now inhabited. "Hey!" John complained. "Moriarty's teamed up with that Loki guy." Sherlock stated simply. John stilled automatically. There was a moment of silence.

"We have to stop them." John said. "Well _obviously_!" Sherlock scoffed. "But how can we? Surely we can't stop them by ourselves." John replied. "I'm pretty sure we can. We can blackmail the demi-god, or I can eat Moriarty-" Sherlock offered. The glare John sent him shut him up. "You know what we have to do. Who knows what type of havoc those two can come up with together!" John said.

"Oh come one, how hard can it be? The cat and the hedgehog versus the frightfully big spider with a demi-god as its owner, doesn't sound too shabby." Sherlock said.

"We're telling them what we know. We're telling them _everything._" John snapped. "You're really not a night person, are you? Of course you aren't." Sherlock answered his question before John himself could. "Also you're the one that has to tell Natasha that you've been sleeping in her room without knowing that you were originally a human." Sherlock added.

He was absolutely sure that if John were in his human body again, he would have paled. "Maybe you should-"

"Where's the fun in _me_ telling her?" Sherlock asked with a rather mischievous smile.

X

Sherlock pawed at Tony's nose impatiently. Tony had passed out in the workshop again. Luckily, it was still midnight. Tony merely pushed the cat away. "Anthony." Sherlock said in a low but cautious stage whisper. Sherlock knew there were possibly a million things that could go wrong. Two of which scenarios, there were no way to escape at all. Tony murmured something in his sleep.

Sherlock pounced on Tony's face. Tony jumped up with a grunt. Sherlock walked off to sit on the edge of the desk. When he saw Sherlock, his expression softened. "Hey there Sherlock." Tony greeted. "Hello Stark." Sherlock replied.

Tony stood mock still. "I must still be half asleep." He reasoned to himself. "I seriously doubt it. It's highly unlikely to be 'half asleep' and I find it a bit useless to try to reason this moment into something that's considered sane because after all, you're a scientist. Scientist don't believe in talking cats or gods, yet you're housing both such things under your roof. Strange world, is it not?" Sherlock asked. Tony stared at him then smiled. "Clint's messing with me, isn't he?" Tony said. "I'm afraid not." Sherlock replied, flicking his tail slightly. "JARVIS, find out if there's anything that's on right now that can be used as a walkie-talkie." Tony ordered. "Yes sir." The AI said.

"He's not going to find anything." Sherlock advised. "There's nothing in the room that suggests there's any sort of walkie-talkie like devices in the room sir." JARVIS said. Tony frowned. "Is there anyone else in the room?" He asked, looking around suspiciously. "No sir. Its only you and the cat." JARVIS replied. "Start recording. If this is real and NOT just some crazy dream where my cat has an English accent, then it should show up in the morning." Tony said.

"This is not a dream. I promise you." Sherlock said, rolling his eyes. "How can I make sure— OW! Hey you didn't have claw at me!" Tony yelled, clutching his hand protectively. His eyes widened in realization. "Holy shit. You can talk?"

X

John wondered around a little bit, considering what to do. He couldn't just tell an assassin that her pet hedgehog was really a man changed into an animal by a demi-god. Who knew, maybe she would even _kill_ him. He shuddered at the thought. John stopped pacing, an idea forming in his head already. A few minutes later, he was in Clint's room, ready to nudge him awake.

His first few attempts where ignored. Someone as skillful as Clint knew there was an animal in the room. He was probably ignoring him. John tried a few more times before hesitating. It has to be done, he thought gravely.

"Ah, excuse me, Clint was it? Would you mind waking—?" John began. Clint opened his eyes, saw John, and let out one of the least manliest screams ever made. He threw off the covers. "What the fu...! What the hell is going on?!" Clint screamed, opening a drawer from his dresser and getting his bow. John crawled out, grudgingly, of the covers. Clint let his form relax, but he was still staring at John suspiciously. "Going to drug me again?" He taunted. John stared back blankly. "What am I doing? You're just an animal. I'm not even sure you can understand me." Clint added with a sigh. Clint scooped up John and sat on the bed with him.

"I still don't trust that cat though. But your okay." Clint said. "Never tell Natasha, because I'm sure she thinks I hate you." He added. John coughed, and the cough came out a bit squeaky.

"I need you to do a tiny squick of a favor. Can you do that for me?" John asked. Clint flung him across the room. "You're talking again!" Clint said in a frightened tone. "This might be a bit more difficult than I thought…" John muttered to himself. "I need you to call a meeting. We need to explain everything." John told him.

"Fine! But only because you have _a lot_ of explaining to do." Clint said, still a bit wary of John.

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**A/N:** Yay, update! Reviews much appreciated and encouraged, so go review!


	6. Revelations

**A/N:** I am so fucking sorry it took so long. *sobs in a corner*

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**Revelations**

With everyone sitting down around the table and midnight coming to end, everyone stared at Clint skeptically.

"I-I'm sorry but do you seriously expect me to believe that both the cat… and the hedgehog can talk?" Bruce asked. "Clint, seriously, this is stupid. Even for you." Natasha grunted. "You've got to listen! As crazy as it seems, its true! Look, he'll tell you himself!" Clint shouted, gesturing towards John who was seated on the table.

"Uh-huh. I'm going back to sleep." Natasha replied after a minute of silence.

"Stop and listen ladies and gentlemen!" Someone shouted from the other side of the room. Tony walked (more like strutted) to the table and then proceeded to dump Sherlock on the table with John.

"John!" Sherlock half yelled, pouncing on John. "Sherlock, not now. We're in the middle of something important!" John reprimanded him.

"Did they just… talk?" Bruce asked, rubbing his eyes from behind his glasses. Clint let out a low frustrated growl. "That's what I've been trying to say here! That was the whole point of this… this meet up thing." Clint hissed. "They can talk. Sherlock explained everything to me on the way up from the basement." Tony said.

Natasha sat still for a second before her eyes closed into slits. She stood up, looking down John. "You bastard. I let you into my room." She said in a low but dangerous voice. John ran to hide behind Sherlock. "Now, to be fair, I did try to tell you on more than one occasion but it seems we can only talk at midnight." John squeaked.

Natasha took a step closer while John flinched. Sherlock moved in front of him. "Don't hurt him." Sherlock hissed. "I wasn't going to." Natasha snapped, crossing her arms.

"Enough with the intimidation already! We have a talking cat and hedge hog and it seems we only have five minutes left to talk to them for today." Tony yelled, clapping his hands together. "So tell them what you told me." He said, this time talking to Sherlock.

Sherlock explained as quickly as he could (with John reminding him that no, the fact that Clint was unintelligent was not relevant to the story, and yes, meeting Loki _was_ important) until they had only one minute left.

It was quiet for a second. Then Thor screamed. Then everyone jumped up from their seats. "It makes sense now! I thought you spelled of some metallic mist when we first met." Thor said as he started to pace. "I need to consult with my father in this one. We have a court mage who could help with the whole talking ordeal. I'll go off and ask him right this moment." Thor reported, leaving the room before any of them could say anything about it.

"Looks like our time is up. Just don't make us do anything rather… embarrassing." John said. Sherlock opened his mouth to say something about his blue collar when suddenly there was a warbled noise coming out of his mouth and then a soft mewling noise. Sherlock rolled over and didn't move.

"Is he dead?" Clint asked, crossing his fingers. John lay his head down on Sherlock's chest before shaking his head. "Dammit. Oh, hey John-hog, don't tell Tasha what I said please. If she finds out she'll never let me hear the end of it."

-Elsewhere…-

"Maybe you should change me back to being human. I don't necessarily like being talked down to." Jim snapped. "Well, I can't. Didn't you say you had the British government after you? Either way I can't risk it. Not while we're still planning how to get back at those idiots." Loki replied with a slight growl in his voice.

"So what if the British governments trying to get to me? I have people." Jim said. "We still have to come up with a plan." Loki said. "Have anything in mind?"Moriarty asked, stretching a long spider leg. "Obviously. It has to be big. Something they'll never see coming." Loki brushed the spider of his shoulder and set him on the coffee table.

They were at Loki's 'lair' (even though he kept telling the mad spider it wasn't technically a lair if it was just a pent house in the middle of New York City)

The place was dark, lit with a few scattered candles. The place was far from quaint. It was modern, elegant, and slightly cold. Many rooms had been yet to be explored by the trickster.

"Anything more specific?" Jim asked. "We have to catch them in a vulnerable spot. And we need help. We need someone with power. Someone who can we can work with." Loki sat still, pensive.

Moriarty internally grinned. "I think I know the person who you're looking for. As for catching them in a vulnerable spot… listen to me and we'll have them just where we want them."

-Stark Tower-

Monday, Nine PM

Three days after the big revelation

The avengers had pretty much steered away from Sherlock and John, with Clint and Tony occasionally talking to them before going off and doing their own thing. Natasha had announced that she couldn't stay mad at John when he was still a hedgehog but she was still greatly upset.

Thor was still gone.

"Does anyone else think that these past three days have been rather quiet?" Tony asked as everyone was doing whatever they do in the technically-living-a-room. Clint looked up from the game he was playing before shrugging.

"You'd sort of expect it to be. After all we learned our pet cat and hedgehog are actually like something out of a Disney movie because one, they can fucking talk, two, they can talk and three, the villain of this plot turned them into animals… that can talk." Clint replied. It was Tony's turn to shrug.

Sherlock mewed from beside Clint before pawing at his own controller. His patience was running thin. "Alright Sherkitty." Clint said with a chuckle, taking the game off the pause menu.

"Sir, the delivery man is here." JARVIS interrupted. Tony nodded before hopping into the elevator and returning a few minutes later with four large boxes of pizza. He set them down on the bar.

"Has anyone ever smelled anything as heavenly as fresh baked pizza on a Monday night?" Tony chimed as everyone crowded around the bar. Natasha practically shoved everyone away so she could get the first slice. "Are there any plates?" Steve asked. "Behind the bar!" Tony replied. Steve nodded.

Outside, thunder clashed. Bruce looked up uneasily. "Could that be him?" He asked. "No idea. I hope he has better aim than last time. It took a week to get the elevator working again." Tony said around a mouthful of pizza.

There was the loud sound of glass breaking and a crash on the floor just above theirs. Natasha immediately went for the gun on her holster. Clint instinctively reached for the bow that wasn't on his back. "JARVIS, please tell me that was Thor." Tony groaned. "I'm afraid not sir." The AI responded.

They second they were all upstairs, they looks around. Nothing really out of the ordinary except for the broken wall of glass. Sherlock was the first to notice. He nudged Tony's leg and nodded in the direction of the blue object in the corner.

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**A/N:** I wonder what it could be. Also, anyone have a clue as to who Jim was talking about? I'll start updating every weekend, I promise! (I wish I could've made this longer but I didn't want to leave you guys hanging for much longer)


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